Divorce is a significant life event that is challenging in many aspects. It is unfortunate that some martial relationships come to an unnatural end, but it would be in the best interest of everyone involved to reduce and minimise any conflicts and tension. This would require intentional effort from both parties. While every divorce situation is unique, there are several key strategies and considerations that can help couples seeking to terminate their marriage to achieve a more amicable divorce. This article delves deeper into how to divorce as amicably as possible in Singapore.
Prioritise Communication and Respect:
Communication is one of the basic building blocks to any relationships, whether it is between spouses, friends or family. In relation to spouses, parties must bear in mind that open communication, honesty and being respectful will help reduce conflicts and tension that may arise during divorce proceedings or even when negotiating the terms for divorce. This helps to foster a conducive environment for facilitating an amicable divorce. Examples of an open communication and respect would be to listen actively to one another’s concern and needs, acknowledge emotions, and avoid blame or hostility.
Effective communication between spouses potentially eliminates unnecessary misunderstandings and delay. Where possible and appropriate, parties should discuss:
- Matters relating to the children’s (if any) custody, care and control, and access plans;
- Matters relating to the matrimonial assets including the matrimonial home;
- Matters relating to their financial situation; and
- Parties’ needs and concerns.
It is important that parties engage competent divorce lawyers to assist in communicating and negotiating with the other parties. Divorces can be emotionally challenging, having an objective third party such as a divorce lawyer will help reduce tension and conflict as the divorce lawyer provides advice and guidance.
Prioritise the Children’s Welfare and Interest
In some divorces, parties place undue focus on the reasons for divorce, oftentimes, these reasons fuel negative emotions. However, it is important to bear in mind that, where there is a child involved, child’s needs and welfare should be the most important consideration.
Section 3 of the Guardianship of Infants Act 1934 (“GIA”) states that in any proceedings before any court the issue in questions relates tothe custody or upbringing of an infant, amongst others, the court shall regard the welfare of the infant as the first and paramount consideration.
It is clear from Section 3 of the GIA that the most important consideration for the court is the child’s welfare in any proceedings where the child’s custody or upbringing is in question. It is important that parents, even in turbulent circumstances, remember that their actions tend to have lasting effects on their children.
Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution
In divorce proceedings in Singapore, parties with children are required to attend mediation to attempt at resolving the issues and disputes amicably. Section 139I of the Women’s Charter provides that in a divorce proceeding where parties have one or more children below 21 years old, the court must order for parties or their children (or both) to attend mediation or counselling and advise any or all parties to attend a family support programme (where appropriate).
Even where there are no children involved in the divorce proceedings, the court may also order parties to try and resolve any and all issues by amicable means through mediation. Section 139H of the Women’s Charter also provide that the court may consider the possibility of a harmonious resolution of and if parties consent, the court may refer the parties and their children (if any) to attend mediation.
There is also a process known as collaborative divorce where both parties commit to resolution without having to litigate. A collaborative divorce involves divorce lawyers trained in collaborative methods to negotiate a settlement on behalf of their clients. Issues that are addressed in a collaborative divorce includes issues relating to the children, spousal maintenance, division of matrimonial assets and other related issues such as marital agreements.
No-Fault Divorce or Divorce by Mutual Agreement
From 1 July 2024 onwards, the law has introduced a new fact to prove an irretrievable breakdown of a marriage, i.e., divorce by mutual agreement. Under this new fact, parties are able to obtain a divorce without having to rely on traditionally antagonising reasons such as adultery or unreasonable behaviour. In order to rely on divorce by mutual agreement, parties must have made genuine efforts to try and reconcile and show that considerations were given to arrangements to be made in relation to their financial affairs and any child of the marriage.
This new fact to prove an irretrievable breakdown of a marriage, in principle, encourages a more amicable resolution as parties do not need to ascribe blame to the breakdown of the marriage and focus on moving on to the next chapter of their lives.
Compromise
As a part of negotiations and mediation, it is important to consider compromise in order to reach an outcome that is mutually beneficial to both parties. In order to achieve an amicable divorce, parties should approach the issues with an open mind and not a “must-win” attitude to ensure that matters are not unnecessarily prolonged which in turn wastes time and resources. Having a divorce lawyer ensures that your legal rights and interests are protected and should always defer to your divorce lawyer for advice on what are the appropriate compromises without compromising on your rights.
Emotional Support
As mentioned, divorces are challenging times for anyone and takes a major emotional toll on an individual. It is important to consider emotional and mental support such as seeking counselling to ensure that your emotional well-being is taken care of during and after divorce proceedings. When dealing with difficult situations, being emotionally balanced allows us to make decisions calmly and rationally, and thus reducing unnecessary conflict.
Conclusion
Ultimately, an amicable divorce in Singapore is not only about avoiding all conflict but rather managing it maturely and responsibly. It involves recognizing and addressing emotions while prioritizing practical considerations and long-term well-being. In place, are system and methods that allow parties to consider alternative resolutions that foster amicability as opposed to animosity such as mediation and collaborative divorces.
In any legal proceedings, including divorces, it is important to find a competent legal professional, i.e., a divorce lawyer, to provide guidance and legal advice on your rightsand interests. Further, having a divorce lawyer also helps to reduce tension and conflicts in especially antagonising situations.
By focusing on solutions rather than grievances, divorcing couples can lay the groundwork for a future where they can coexist harmoniously, even if their paths diverge.
